Man Arrested for Not Twittering After Mall Stampede

When I don’t Twitter for a while (“a while” meaning, like, 12 hours), I usually just get a worried text message from my mom. But can you imagine being arrested for not Twittering? Well, that’s what happened to a VP from Island Def Jam Records this weekend.

Let’s start at the beginning — apparently, there’s a hot new 15-year-old singer called Justin Bieber who’s giving the Jonas Brothers a run for their money. When Justin (who kind of looks like Miley Cyrus with a haircut) was scheduled to appear at the Roosevelt Field Mall on Long Island this weekend, over 3,000 tweens and their moms showed up. People started getting rowdy two hours before Justin was even supposed to arrive, and some fans and moms got trampled and had to go to the hospital.

In an effort to break up the crowd, local police ordered Island Def Jam VP James Roppo to Twitter that the event had been canceled, but he refused. They subsequently arrested him for endangering the welfare of children and obstructing governmental administration, and even threatened to throw little Justin in the slammer too, if he came near the mall. The moral of the story? If the cops tell you to Twitter, you should probably just do it.

—Alyssa